Tag Archives: journal

On being told to “smile.”



I recently updated my Facebook profile photo to the one show above, and was met with comments regarding my seemingly  displeased expression. 

Though I know most weren’t malintended, the circumstance provided an opportunity to give life to thoughts I’d been considering for a while. 

“On being told to ‘smile.'”

I will not apologize for emoting. 

The only sincerity in my sorrow is that you fear the recognition of pain, anger, contemplation and grief, that you instruct their repression, and you revel in their eradication. 

Do not diminish me to relinquish responsibility for the existence of emotions you would rather not experience. 

Do not qualify me as an inconvenience simply because my expression provokes thoughtfulness. 

Do not reject me in the wake of a denied pleasantry.

Do not seek to slather fractures in preferred perfection for the sake of hubris. 

Identify, accept and respond. 
Consider, question and grow. 

Do not tell me to smile. 


Instead, question why I won’t.

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Busbench

“The boy on the bench,” he says softly.
“You never told me about him.”

His voice says everything he refuses to.
Tension coils in the static.
He waits, feigning patience, as I let implications take the weight of any words I could expel.

“He wanted to be there,” I say, shrugging.
“You didn’t.”

In which mind is master

In the midst of a most-hindered sleep,

I lay unaided by my sheep.

Eyelids left to sentry eyes

Clamped shut, restless ‘neath dark’ning skies.

 

But lo, rare seconds beg the mind

To a wondrous place– and dream did I!

Down a rabbit’s hole, one could say

Where day was night and night was day.

 

Strange murmurings of tasks at hand,

In a queer and deconstructed land.

Militant were expectations,

Scorned and scathed were jubilations.

 

Into a second sleep fell I,

A dreamer’s dream in Mind’s third eye.

No guide except my instincts there,

As Alice with the Hatter’s hare.

 

Three consciousness danced ‘neath these tresses,

Confused and gambling in my wake,

Lessons learned, a sister spurned,

A dreamer fearful of mistake.

 

Hark! Too soon the bells did ring,

And unforgiving dawn did bring

The bitter scent of coffee ground,

As dreams they fled,

mind left unsound.