Category Archives: Personal

On being told to “smile.”



I recently updated my Facebook profile photo to the one show above, and was met with comments regarding my seemingly  displeased expression. 

Though I know most weren’t malintended, the circumstance provided an opportunity to give life to thoughts I’d been considering for a while. 

“On being told to ‘smile.'”

I will not apologize for emoting. 

The only sincerity in my sorrow is that you fear the recognition of pain, anger, contemplation and grief, that you instruct their repression, and you revel in their eradication. 

Do not diminish me to relinquish responsibility for the existence of emotions you would rather not experience. 

Do not qualify me as an inconvenience simply because my expression provokes thoughtfulness. 

Do not reject me in the wake of a denied pleasantry.

Do not seek to slather fractures in preferred perfection for the sake of hubris. 

Identify, accept and respond. 
Consider, question and grow. 

Do not tell me to smile. 


Instead, question why I won’t.

Busbench

“The boy on the bench,” he says softly.
“You never told me about him.”

His voice says everything he refuses to.
Tension coils in the static.
He waits, feigning patience, as I let implications take the weight of any words I could expel.

“He wanted to be there,” I say, shrugging.
“You didn’t.”

In which mind is master

In the midst of a most-hindered sleep,

I lay unaided by my sheep.

Eyelids left to sentry eyes

Clamped shut, restless ‘neath dark’ning skies.

 

But lo, rare seconds beg the mind

To a wondrous place– and dream did I!

Down a rabbit’s hole, one could say

Where day was night and night was day.

 

Strange murmurings of tasks at hand,

In a queer and deconstructed land.

Militant were expectations,

Scorned and scathed were jubilations.

 

Into a second sleep fell I,

A dreamer’s dream in Mind’s third eye.

No guide except my instincts there,

As Alice with the Hatter’s hare.

 

Three consciousness danced ‘neath these tresses,

Confused and gambling in my wake,

Lessons learned, a sister spurned,

A dreamer fearful of mistake.

 

Hark! Too soon the bells did ring,

And unforgiving dawn did bring

The bitter scent of coffee ground,

As dreams they fled,

mind left unsound.

Update: 30-Day Book Selfie Challenge

Day 7
Day 7

Day 7: Book with the best male lead- Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

Day 8
Day 8

Day 8: book with the best supporting characters- The Magicians by Lev Grossman

Favorites include: Alice, Janet and Eliot

Day 9
Day 9

Day 9: the book you would recommend to anyone, ever- Sextrology by Starsky and Cox

By far the best, and most accurate, astrological account I’ve ever read. Continue reading Update: 30-Day Book Selfie Challenge

“The nights she locks the door– you better get it open.”

The tempest rages, battering the battlements of good judgment, bombarding built-up balustrades of consciousness.

It smacks stones of sense, degrading details and destroying any moniker of self-mothering.

Naked to it’s lustful and dominating advance, it blazes, emulsifying any educated reciprocity between mind and body.

Keep still until it passes.

Don’t split the skin. Don’t drain the wound.

You should know by now, that monster is a part of you.

Updates for the Book Selfie Challenge coming very soon!

In the meantime, check out this trailer for As I Lay Dying, directed by James Franco and based on the book by William Faulkner.

It’s available to stream on Netflix and I’m very excited to sit down and watch it tonight! Expect a review/comparison to the book to be up on the blog within the next few days.

Write on!

Days 1 & 2: 30-Day Book Selfie Challenge

Day 1: Currently Reading
Day 1: Currently Reading

Day 1: Currently reading The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson .

I’m about three quarters of the way through and LOVING it. Planning on finishing it today, or at least getting close!

Day 2: Your favorite picture book as a kid
Day 2: Your favorite picture book as a kid

Day 2: Your favorite picture book as a kid

That would be, Time For Bed by Mem Fox and illustrated by Jane Dyer.

My parents and I used to read this before bed each night, to the point where I had pretty-much memorized it. The illustrations are beautiful and endearing, and it’s a tradition I plan to continue with my children.